Arsonists need not apply

Take a leap of faith that this article will be worth your time

It certainly doesn’t have a “hunky-dory” past

“Yes, I’ll have the caviar with a side of car tires.”

Let me be frank(furter).

More like Ja-new-ary 🥁

It’s not because Americans lack creativity

Even though it might seem like it on your crowded commute…

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for the missing period

It’s like an American accent but with calendars.

Your teeth are a part of your body, right?

Many other languages call it a “double V”. English hasn’t caught up with the trends.

First came minutes, second came seconds.

What do these adoptive road parents have to do to earn those signs?

We Americans sure do like American things.

And should you take it out after opening?

We have to thank some ancient minds for these special numbers.

Swipe right for science.

Your birthday wish for birthday history has been granted.

You’re gonna “love” this one!